Out of Control

Have you ever felt like life was rushing around you and all you could do was stand still? Have you ever felt like you had no control over life but it was life that had control over you?  Well hold on dear friends because we're in in together. I recently decided to move back to Vegas. I had to pack up my bags, withdraw from school, and make sure I left everything spic-n-span. Once I got back to Vegas it was this whirlwind of traveling and not really having time to process the fact that I'm once again back in Vegas.

Prior to moving to Jersey I thought "this is where I'm supposed to be. Vegas is it and I'm okay with it" then BAM I move to Jersey. Once in Jersey I came to the peace of mind that I wasn't going home. then BAM I  move back to Vegas. I moved back without having a set job or a mode of transportation. Yesterday I went to an interview for a great position in one of the casinos and prior to moving my parents told me that they would give me one of their extra cars. I have been so blessed along this process but believe me I have had moments of breaking down. I don't know what the story is going to look like but I pray that along the ways I give God the glory and honor.  My life isn't mine and I need to remember that more often. 

Blessings

Reaching Out

Throughout most of my life I've been the friend who does the reaching out. Sometimes I would feel bothered by it, but mostly I either shrugged it off and realized that I was simply that person. Recently, since moving to New Jersey, I've heard the lines "I think about you all the time, but I never call" or "just because I don't call doesn't mean I'm not thinking about you"  I know that I'm loved and that I'm thought of, however it would be nice to be called every once in a while, rather than always doing the calling/texting. Once my mind went to those thoughts my loving and so very honest Father quietly reminded me "Isha, that's how I feel. You think of me quite often, and occasionally I'll get a text (prayer) from you, but rarely do you ever respond with action. You think of me and leave it there. How often do you truly come to me and want to spend time with me? How often do you open my word and desire a conversation with me beyond a normal day to day need/want?"  In that moment I had to humble myself and rethink how I spend my time.  If it hurts me to not have people call me or check up on me while I'm always the one making effort, how much more does the Father's heart desire to be called?   Now, I have a handful of friends that call me and text me simply to talk and check up on me. My relationship with them is much deeper and they don't have to ask what's going on in my life, because they are in it. They know the details of my life and the very spot that my heart is in. Its not a matter of questioning where I'm at, but a matter of asking what they can do for me or praying for me on the spot.


This isn't a pity party (although it very well quite be. But like I say, A pity party is a party of one and a party of one is just no fun). It is a call to realize just how much our Father desire a deeper relationship with us.   Just like my close and dear friends know every part of my life, our Father wants for us to know His will. Rather than questioning "God, what do you want?" or "God, what are you doing?"  it becomes a response of "I'll do whatever it takes to further Your will"  because you already know what His will is. 

I challenge you (and myself) today to make more effort at strengthening your relationship with God.

Blessings

Fallen From Grace

Today I was thinking about the term "Fallen From Grace" and questioned exactly what does it mean? Does one truly fall from grace? Can you ever be removed from God's grace?  So I went on a hunt-google hunt that is. I came across this article and thought I'd share it with everyone because it so clearly voices how I feel.

Have You Fallen from Grace?

“Grace is neither withheld nor reduced because of sin.”

I have been asked many times if a born again believer can fall from the grace of God since Galatians 5:4 says, “you have fallen from grace.”

The context of that statement is Jewish teachers who emphasized that a person had to keep the Law of Moses to be saved had confuse the Christians in the church at Galatia. They were insisting that all non-Jews must be circumcised and become Jews first. The apostle Paul had taught them clearly that salvation is by grace through faith in Christ (Gal. 1:10; 2:16-21; 3:1-14, 22-29; 5:5-6). Paul wrote his letter to the church admonishing the believers to stand firm against the bondage of legalism. The immediate context states Paul’s conviction clearly, “Behold I, Paul, say to you that if you receive circumcision, Christ will be of no benefit to you. And I testify again to every man who receives circumcision, that he is under obligation to keep the whole Law. You have been severed from Christ, you who are seeking to be justified by law; you have fallen from grace” (Galatians 5:2-4).

Paul is not saying, “You have lost your salvation.” What happens when you fall from grace? You fall into law observance. You become legalists. A. T. Robertson, writes, "'You left the sphere of grace in Christ and took your stand in the sphere of law’ as your hope of salvation. Paul does not mince words and carries the logic to the end of the course. He is not, of course, speaking of occasional sins, but he has in mind a far more serious matter, that of substituting law for Christ as the agent in salvation.” 

It is a very serious matter. Paul is concerned that if the Galatians accepted the right of circumcision as necessary for salvation, then they would be leaving the principle of grace and going back to the Mosaic Law. 

Here are two opposing approaches to God. One system based on legalism and the other on God's grace. The same error can be seen in a church that teaches that salvation depends on repentance, confession, faith, baptism, and church membership as opposed to one that emphasizes salvation by grace through faith. There is nothing wrong with these teachings except when they become the means of salvation. Baptism by immersion and church membership are not things you do in order to be saved. That is legalism at its worst scenario. 

The biggest tragedy for the believer is that he is robbed of the spiritual wealth that is his by abiding in Christ. Legalists rob the Christian of his liberty. Legalists do not live by the Spirit, but by rules and regulations. He is bound to laws and traditions instead of walking by faith in Christ. Legalism gives a false sense of security, but it chokes the Christ-life out of the believer. 

No matter how much morality a person attains by legalism he still comes short of the glory of God. No radically depraved sinner can live up to the expectations of God. He may live up to another sinner's expectations, but not according to God's standards.

However, when God saves us by grace and we live by grace through faith in Christ we share in the riches of God’s grace (Eph. 1:7), the wealth of His glorious inheritance in the saints (Eph. 1:18; Phil. 4:19), the riches of His wisdom (Rom. 11:33), and the unfathomable riches of Christ (Eph. 3:8). Moreover, in Christ we have "all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge" (Col. 2:3), and we are "complete in Him" (Col. 2:10). Once a person is "in Christ," he has all that he needs to live the kind of Christian life God wants him to live. Legalism keeps you bound up with the system of men and men's expectations as opposed to God.    

God will never decrease His grace toward you because of your sin. Your sins, all of them have been dealt with by the atoning death of Christ. “All my sin, not in part, but the whole, is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,” wrote Horatio Spafford. The basis for such belief is the perfect righteousness of Jesus Christ imparted to the believing sinner. We have been justified by grace alone through faith in Christ.

You cannot fall from grace, but you can break the Law. Our breaking of the Law causes us to cast ourselves upon the grace of God and plead for His mercy. Christ died for all our sins. Jesus paid it all. Our knowledge of sin should make us pray, “God be merciful to me the sinner.”

Selah!
Message by Wil Pounds (c) 2006 

Blessings upon blessings

For this post, I'm simply going to update all of my west coast friends of what is going on in my life. I have been BLESSED beyond belief over the past month and I cannot wait to tell you what has been happening.

First off: my faith is soaring through the roof! Praise God! :) I have come to realize so much more about my faith than I could ever imagine and the greatest part is knowing that I still have so much more to discover. Right now I'm in love with grace. I have come to realize that there is nothing I can do to receive more grace and there is nothing I can do to receive less grace. That grace is given to me because of my faith. Its a simple concept, but it just now hit me!
I'm attending a WONDERFUL church called Relevant. If you'd like you can check out their website at  www.relevantnj.com  They believe in being missional in the everyday sense. Getting out into the community in more than just one way or in one aspect is a core belief of theirs. The worship is great and the people are even better. Its full of real people who are aren't afraid to admit when they're broken or in need of something. I love the atmosphere of the church.
I have started attending a bible study/book study (Beth Moore). Its full of young women around my age who are hungry to learn more about God and the faith that we claim. I'm really loving it and have found some great friends through it.

My job as a nanny is going really well and I've fallen into the daily routine of waking up, eating breakfast, feeding the kids, getting Shannon dressed, then working on the letter of the week(s), playing outside or going somewhere, napping the kids, lunch, and just getting throughout the day. The family has really taken me in and is loving on me constantly. There's moments where I miss home, but mostly because Vegas was comfortable and I didn't have to work at life so hard.

So here's the big news! No... I'm not dating or engaged yet (sorry to those who were hoping for that. lol)  I will be attending a small Christian college here in NJ! If all the paperwork goes through I will be starting in 5 weeks (Crazy right?!) I am going for my degree in Biblical Studies with an emphasis in youth ministry.  My heart has ALWAYS been in ministry, but I never felt like it would a full time thing. Apparently, God has other plans for me. I am so excited about this new adventure. I FINALLY qualify for my financial aid because I'm considered an independent student. I cannot believe how quickly this has come together, but with God all things are possible.

So ladies and gentleman, that is the quick and short update on my life! I love all of you dearly and miss you so much!  God is working BIG time here in NJ and I ask that you would keep this state in prayer.  There is a lot that God is wanting to do, so please pray for workers to bring in the harvest.

BLESSINGS!

Who would hug a rose bush?

So the question of the day is: Who would hug a rose bush? They're beautiful from afar and they produce such awesome flowers that smell good and light up a room, however they are full of thorns that are extremely painful and are not easy to get around.  I feel like this question is equivalent to asking someone if they'd want to hug a cactus. No one in their right mind would. So what's the difference between a rose bush and a cactus? At least with a cactus you know what you're getting. You go into that situation knowing its going to be painful. A cactus doesn't disguise its thorns with wonderful flowers and green leaves. That sucker lets you know that if you get too close you're going to feel pain. A rose bush, however; cleverly disguises its thorns with flowers, leaves, and wonderful scents that draw the outsider in. Not only until your too close for comfort do you discover that there are painful thorns under all of that beauty.

Last night while at a bible study, a woman told us that God told her that she was infected with thorns. That He, nor anyone else could get close to her because she had all of her defenses up or as he described them-thorns. She had become so infected over the years that intimacy with her was impossible.

This visual had me start thinking: how often in life do we live as rose bushes? We come off as this wonderful person who has it all together with so many wonderful attributes. We're social, we're happy and go lucky, we speak as if we know everything. Even more so, in the christian realm we act as if we're the "perfect Christian". We live our lives by the book and every question is answered with a reference to scripture. We're involved in our churches, our friends are all Christians, we attend church on a regular if not religious basis, and if anyone asks you how we're doing the answered is "blessed".  Don't get me wrong, that's all fine and dandy but the real question is this, "How well do you know God and how well are you known by Him?"  So often I have found people, and I'm including myself in this group, that have it all together on the outside and people put them on a throne, but underneath it all is a a person full of thorns. They have their defenses up and it's not until you get too close for comfort do you see their flaws and the very thing that they cling to. For some those thorns are  insecurities and low self esteem, for others they're a past that daily haunts them, and for some they're the doubts and fears that they will never be enough for God and that God is so far away that there is no possible way that He could love them in a deep and personal way. 

For me, I'd much rather be surrounded by people that live their lives as cacti. They are upfront and honest about their failures, flaws,and fears. It takes a lot less effort to be around them because you know exactly where they're at. You can speak directly into their lives with truth and love because what they're telling you is honest and real so therefore you can be real with them. They know where they're at and so do you. This world needs more cacti. They need real Christians who are honest and upfront about where they're at in their lives, not Christians who portray the role of a "holier than thou" person who's only spot is in the limelight. They're sick of being surrounded by Christians who show off their roses but once they get to know that person they get hurt and run from the very thing they need-Jesus.

My challenge for today is that you would start to question whether you are a rosebush or a cactus. If you find that you're more like a rosebush, ask God to start the process of removing the things and areas in your life that prevent you from being real. And if you're more like a cactus then congratulations, but it doesn't mean you get to end there. Pray that God will help remove the thorns in your side as well so that you can have a more intimate relationship with Christ as well as those around you.

Blessings,

Feeling like Israel, but knowing I'm Peter

Have you ever wanted something so bad that you're willing to do whatever it takes to get it? Have you ever wanted something so bad that it's a constant part of your everyday prayer, even if you know it may not be the best for you? Have you ever gotten that something then realized how much you really don't want it?  Recently I've gone through this. There was something that I wanted so bad, even though I knew it wasn't what God wanted for me and it wasn't healthy for me. I didn't care. I prayed about it, thought about it, had dreams about it, and it was a constant in conversations with friends. I knew God was saying, "Isha, this isn't what I have for you... not yet. I have blessed you beyond measure yet you still ask for more"  My response? "I know God and I'm grateful (I wasn't truly grateful or I wouldn't have been asking for more) but I REALLY want this. I know, I know-it may not be the best, but come on God! Haven't I done a lot for you? Have I not given up my comfort, my time, my money, my status for you? I'm only asking for this ONE thing"  Well, lo and behold I got what I wanted. But once I had it, I mean, really had it, I discovered that it wasn't what I thought it was going to be like.

If you don't know the story of Israel, let me give you a synopsis. Israel was God's chosen nation-His people. He had removed them from slavery, given them tons of land and riches, and had truly blessed them beyond measure. He LOVED this nation and the people.  However, one day (probably like years) Israel asks God for a king. They plead with him stating that "All the other nations have kings" (Now if you're a parent or work with kids you know EXACTLY what this sounds like... "but mom, ALL the other kids have it. Why can't I?" Funny how things remain the same,even thousands of years later) So God responds back with "You are my chosen people and this is not the path that I have chosen for you. I have called you to a life of freedom and a higher standard than all the other nations. A king is not what I have for you."  So Israel responds back (and I imagine them doing so in a "2 year old throwing a fit" manner. There may have even been stomping of feet.) "BUT GOD!! We really want a king!"  So what does God do? He "blesses" their wish and gives them a king.  Shortly down the road, Israel realizes that the king they got, was not what they expected. He was horrible, mean, and out right evil"  But God let them suffer for some time. Later of course God does His thing, and truly blesses them with King David who is known as "A man after God's own heart"

So... what does my life have to do with Israel? Well folks, for a short time (even though it felt like forever) I truly thought to myself "oh man! I'm freakin' Israel right now! I wanted a king, got one, and now I don't want it. I felt like God was telling me, "Isha, you have to figure this one out on your own. I gave you countless ways out of this and you chose to desire and pursue it anyway. I love you, just like I loved Israel, but for now you have to do this by yourself. I'm here with you, just not the way you may want"  Let you me tell you something, those few days of feeling like Israel were the hardest days. I've never really felt alone. I knew God was RIGHT there with me, fighting for me, but I have to say that I really felt abandoned. I knew I had made a wrong choice in wanting something that wasn't in God's will and I had to figure it out. Crazy part of it is, I almost considered "turning" and surrendering all that I had fought for to simply give in. 

Don't worry, there's a bright side to this story. I was driving home from church the other day and realized "I'm not Israel. I'm more like Peter. Now Peter was an AWESOME guy. In the gospels Peter and John are constantly being chosen by Jesus to go with him and he gave them A LOT of authority, probably more so than the other disciples. Well Peter was the one who denied knowing Jesus 3 times in a row during his trial and crucifixion, even though he told Jesus "I'll never deny you"  I don't know about you, but if I was Peter I'd feel like crap. You just denied knowing your best friend, and the very Savior of your life. After denying Him, Jesus dies on the cross and Peter is left in this middle ground. "Am I forgiven? How could I just do something like that? Who am I to deny everything I know to be true?"  It never mentions it, but I'm sure Peter was beating himself up over it. Well after Jesus is resurrected He makes a point to go visit Peter and reinstate him. He knew how broken Peter was over it and made sure to tell him how much He loved him. That his mistake, his choice, did not mean that God was done with him yet or the plan for his life. Peter later became the very rock of which the Church started (Acts 2:41).

I came to the conclusion, that although I felt like I was Israel, I truly am more like Peter. Peter, made a stupid choice and felt horrible for it, but God wasn't finished with him yet. He used him to bring over 3,000 souls to the Kingdom. Our choices do not dictate whether or not God's plan for us changes. He sees my heart, knows my true desires and I am overly confident that God is not finished with me yet, even if I was like Israel wanting something that isn't healthy.

My challenge(s) this week:  1)Be content with what you have and where you're at in life. If you are living out the will of God and have a heart to serve/please Him, you will be blessed beyond measure.  2) If you've made a choice that you know isn't best for you, do not lose hope. God is not finished with you yet and His love for you outweighs any choice or decision you've made.  God has a higher purpose for each of us and if you are willing to follow Him, He will make straight your paths.

BLESSINGS!!

When one door closes...

I don't know about you, but I struggle with closing doors in my life. I avoid saying goodbye like its the black plague. Maybe because its so final or because it signifies change, whether good or bad. People say that when one door closes, another one opens, but I find in my life that isn't always true. Sometimes, I close a door and I am directed down a hall with only walls and arrows to follow, no doors. Not for awhile.


Thats where I'm at right now. Standing outside of a room, avoiding closing that door and avoiding a hall. I don't have a lot to say other than I know God has equipped me with enough strength and courage to close the door and that the hall is fully lit so I'm not afraid, just stubborn. :) 

If you're struggling with where you're at in life or you know its time to close a door but you're hesitant just know that you're not alone. Nor are you ill-equipped. God knows what He's doing and even if another door doesn't seem open, you may simply need to walk down a hall to find the next open door.

Blessings

I'm not finished with you yet....

I'm not finished with you yet.... These words resound in my head. I heard a testimony on Sunday where a guy kept hearing God say those words to him, even when the man was finished with himself.  I so dearly love those words because their often heard in the midst of hard times.  Recently I've been struggling with the thoughts that perhaps I'm not doing enough or being enough. Is Jersey really where I'm supposed to be and if so, for how long? I've made some poor choices and I'm probably harder on myself than anyone else (typical) so do those choices effect God's plan for me here. How gracious and loving is He?

About a week ago, I broke down crying in my room. I cried out " Lord, I'm lost and have no clue. Its been forever since I've been at this place and I don't like it:" His response?? " I'm not finished with you yet Isha. I love you and I know where you are. You've been in my hands the whole time"

Question is? Is God ever finished with us? Does He ever give up hope for us? I look at families around me who have children that have strayed away and they never lose hope or stop praying for their kids. Whether their kids change or not, they keep faith. I believe that God is the same way, never giving up. Jesus is up there, praying and interceding on our behalf. He is never done loving us or believing in us.
'
Some people may believe that death is when God says "now I am finished" But I believe quite the opposite. Sometimes He uses death to bring about the fruit of the harvest. I look at my friend Kyler who, even in death, is impacting lives and through his family, is bringing about change.

So if you've ever felt like God has given up on you or that you're not worthy of anything, I urge you to reconsider your thought process. You are loved and even in the depths of your despair God is saying, "I'm not finished yet."

Its Not About You

"Its not about you" I have heard this phrase more times than I can count. I have said this phrase more times than I can count. I've been on mission trips since I was 17 years old and each time we go that saying is drilled into our heads. The trips are really never about us: they're about reaching out to other people, about putting aside your desires, your comfort levels, your wishes, your attitudes and putting on patience, kindness, grace, mercy, love and anything else that shows God's love to everyone around you. I know what this saying looks like on the mission field and on church trips, but what does it look like in real life? What does it look like on the day-to-day?  We're told that life is a mission trip, but how many of us really live like that? When we wake up do we tell ourselves "Today, its not about me! Today, I'm going to put aside my feelings and my emotions for the better of others! Today I'm going to make every effort to love others around me more than I love myself!"  If you're anything like me, the answer is a hard "No!"  I wake up and think "Today, I'm going to do this or that. Today I'm going to go here or there. Today I'm going to wear this outfit and do my hair this way"  Rarely, do I take the time to truly think about anything or anyone other than  myself and how I feel.  


Today, I learned what it really means to live in the constant thought of "It's not about you"  I was standing in church today with 3 of my dear friends. The gentleman who was speaking offered a chance for people to either re-commit their lives or commit for the first time. Growing up in the church, you don't think so much about that offer because really, you hear it so much.  But as I looked up, I saw my friend (who has been struggling with her faith) walk to the front. I couldn't help but begin crying. My heart was so full of joy that she wanted to re-commit her life to the Lord. Just yesterday she was telling me how she knows that God sent me into her life and that she is forever grateful for me. In that moment I realized, that my time here in Jersey is not about me or my comfort level, its not about how much money I make, or the job title I possess, its not about what car I drive, what clothes I wear, or what I do on my weekends. It is about furthering the Kingdom and making a positive impact on the lives of those around me.  Normally I end my blog with a challenge for the readers, but this time I'm going to end with a challenge for everyone, including myself.


The challenge is this: To wake up every day and tell yourself  "Today, is NOT about me. It is not about my comforts or my emotions, but rather today IS about loving others and leaving a lasting, positive influence on the lives of those around me. Today, I will put aside everything that makes me selfish and prideful. I will take on the heart of a God who loves people without reason. Today, I am going to make an honest effort to be better than yesterday"


Blessings!

More than conquerors

"IT IS TIME!" "IT IS TIME"

It is time to start a revolution my friends! We are called to change this world and bring glory to the very one who created it. Romans 8:30 says this "And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified"  We are a predestined generation, called, justified, and glorified! Why are we sitting around waiting for God to return to be active in our pursuit of the kingdom? Why must we be so stagnant in our faith, wasting time and energy? The time is now!

Romans 8 says this  ³¹ What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? ³² He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? ³³ Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. ³⁴ Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. ³⁵ Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? ³⁶ As it is written:
   “For your sake we face death all day long;
   we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”
 ³⁷ No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. ³⁸ For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, ³⁹ neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

We ARE more than conquerors for the very one we serve, already conquered death! Is that not why we celebrate Easter?

I normally don't write with such conviction but I know that God is calling us to do something bigger than ourselves, bigger than our wildest dreams. I pray that as you read this, God starts to do a work in you that sparks a movement. Please, do not wait for others to start it.. God has already predestined and chosen you to do that work! 

What to do in a storm?

Have you ever been in the middle of a storm? Maybe a dust storm (coming from the desert that was my first thought) or maybe a thunderstorm or perhaps a spiritual/mental storm?  Whatever kind of storm it was, I bet when you were in the midst of it you were overwhelmed.
A few weekends ago I had some friends over and out of nowhere this huge thunder and rain storm hit. It was pouring rain and thundering like nothing I've ever seen or heard before. I was in awe and a bit nervous. I mean, really... the trees were swaying and the wind was howling, it was intense. But never once during that storm was I scared for my life or overwhelmed so much that I found it impossible to go about my business. Why? Because I was inside a house that is well built and meant to protect me. I knew that I was safe.

So why then in our daily lives do we say "the peace before the storm" or "the peace after the storm"? What about "the peace in the midst of the storm"? Or does that not exist? I mean it has to, right?  Does peace only exist when there is no trouble or struggle? Does peace only exist when things are going great?  Are we not told that God's peace is a forever peace, a peace that surpasses all understanding, a peace "in the midst of the storm"?

Isaiah 25:4 says this about God, "You have been a refuge for the poor,  a refuge for the needy in their distress, a shelter from the storm and a shade from the heat"  If this is true then God, our God, will constantly shelter us from the storm.  Now you may say or think "Well that's great and all Isha, but how come He never seems to be there when I'm going through crap?"  My response to that is this: Let's say a huge thunderstorm hits while I'm driving around. I find a shelter and park in the parking lot, but decide to not get out of my car and go inside because my car is comfortable and I know my car. I know everything about my car and I get to have it all to myself, where as the shelter is unknown and it means giving up my comfort and my space.  Would you not think I was crazy?  Who would stay inside their car rather than go into the shelter?  God is a shelter and is always there for you in the midst of the storm, but you have to chose to make him that shelter in your life. Sometimes in life, we decide to not run to God in hard times because it means giving up our comfort and our space.

Isaiah 26: 3-4 says this: "³ You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you. ⁴ Trust in the LORD forever,  for the LORD, the LORD himself, is the Rock eternal"

LOVE IT!! I love that scripture because it so clearly states that God will keep us in PERFECT peace when our minds are steadfast and when we trust in Him!   In church and when speaking with other believers we always here the word "steadfast" and if you're like me you may think "what the heck does steadfast even mean? It sounds like a diet shake of some kind. Well here's the definition: : firm in belief, determination, or adherence : loyal.  So what Isaiah is saying is this, If you keep your mind determined and firm in your belief of Christ Jesus as well as remaining LOYAL, God will give you perfect peace.  

I'm going to end with this small imagery. Today while driving back from dropping Shannon off at daycare it started pouring rain but right as I drove over the last hill before arriving home the sun came through the clouds as if to say "I'm still here".  I pray that as you go through storms in life you are aware of the moments when the Son comes out to say "I'm still here with you" and gives you peace in the midst of the storm.

Blessings 

A shining sign in a dark place

First off, HAPPY EASTER!  I love this holiday so much because it is such a wonderful time where people join together, the weather is fantastic, and the opportunity to minister to other people is great! Christmas is a time of celebration, but had it not been for the rising of our Savior, the world would be the same as before Christ.

This week has been so amazing and I sat back in awe as God went before me and worked through me.  I have been so blessed to encounter and become friends with some awesome people. So what is this week's lesson?  Being a light in a dark place.

I don't think I ever realized how bright things are in Vegas.  I've never missed a street because I couldn't read the sign. Perhaps, I was driving too fast and had to do a u-turn, but never has it been because I couldn't see the sign. Here, in lovely Jersey, I miss signs ALL the time, especially at night. The signs are lit up so good luck trying to find the street you need to turn on. Plus, the street lights are so dim and scattered that its hard to even see where you're going.

This week I realized that we should all strive to be like a Las Vegas sign: well lit and able to direct people in the right direction. I think that we so often get caught up in the "right way to say something" or "being so religiously correct" or maybe we get so caught up in our lives that we forget our one goal: to point and direct the way to the One who knows whats right and knows the path that is correct for each individual. However, you can think that you're pointing the right way. "Well God, I'm doing everything correct" or "Well I tell people about God all the time" but really? Are you? Do you think that using your words is enough?  A street can be properly labeled but people can still miss it (as I've learned while living here), but if it is not properly lit that label is meaningless. 1 John 3:18 says this, "Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth."
So, how do you go about being well lit. Well, the truth of the matter is that it all starts with your heart. If your heart attitude is off, everything else will be off. I've learned over the past year that truly loving people has to come from your heart, not your mouth. I can tell you I love you all I want, but if my heart is not right there with my words its meaningless. But where does true love from the heart originate from? Well.. lets think about this. Who is the one who knows your heart? Who is the one who knows the way you show love? Who is the one who knows love above everything else?  Got the answer yet? Well if you don't here it is: God!  Truly knowing God and knowing how He loves is where you'll learn how to love which then results in you being "well lit" 

I challenge you today to ask God how to love and to have Him show you His love.. Now be prepared for some storms, because sometimes we don't know how great His love is until we go through storms (both small and large) 

I pray that God blesses you and that you become well lit signs that truly point the way to the One who knows all.

BLESSINGS!!

counting it all as loss : a conversation with a dear friend

Let me start you off with scripture.

Philippians 3:8 says "What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ"

I was having a conversation with my friend Tayler about sacrificing and what that all entails. We talked about how we feel we need to step it up in that department. I told her that for us, its not a matter of heaven or hell because we know we're going to heaven but that its about a higher calling.  I believe that many people, especially young people, have a higher calling on their life yet some choose to not answer that calling.  Tayler said that a lot of people can just live their life the way that they want and be okay. But here's the kicker: they can! God loves us so much that He allows us to live in what we consider freedom.

I know for myself God is calling me to give up a lot of things and situations that make me comfortable. Some of those are unhealthy for me, but some of them simply consume my time and keep me from investing myself wholeheartedly to God and to the pursuit of furthering His kingdom!  Am I scared? ABSOLUTELY! I don't know what God is going to call  me to sacrifice, but I do know this: that whatever it is, it is worth it!

So often, we sing songs about "counting it all as loss" or "being willing to give it all up" or "your grace is enough" but really, if it came down to it, would you be okay counting EVERYTHING as loss?  Your home, your car, your job, your finances, your friendships, your relationship/marriage, your family, your comfort, your health, your beauty, your clothes, your bed, your shoes, your time... EVERYTHING? Think about it.. don't just read over this. Read each one slowly and think to yourself all that goes with each section.  Are you willing to give it up for the sake of Christ?

If you want a deeper relationship with the very Creator of your soul, spend some time seeking out His Higher Calling on your life.  Be ready to sacrifice.  God will never demand it of you, but one day you may hear Him whisper "Are you ready?"

Blessings

Confident in your lack of confidence

I've come to learn a lot about myself while living here in Jersey.  One of those things is that I have NO CLUE what I'm doing. Yes, I know how to take care of the kids. Yes, I know what I'm doing from day to day ( I thank my friend Jo'd for instilling in my the passion to have a plan). Yes, I know that I'm called to a life of ministry and missions (however that looks). Outside of those things, I have no clue.  For the longest time I always had a plan. I knew where I was going every month, I knew who I would see everyday, I knew what my life would look like (haha!.. so much for that now). I guess God thought that was a funny joke and decided to change things up on me.

Here in Jersey, I have no clue if I'm going to go to school. I don't know if I'm ever going to complete my degree, I don't know where I'm to serve in ministry, I don't know what I'm doing every month other than working mon-fri and hoping for fun on the weekends. I just don't know.... I sort of lost my sense of confidence. I had defined myself by what I was doing which can be easy to do. When meeting someone its common to get questions such as "Where do you work?" "What do you do on your free time?" "Where did/are you go/going to school?" and "What organizations/events are you involved in?"   So in losing my confidence, I had to find it somewhere.. right?

I've found confidence that God knows exactly what He has planned. He is the Author of my life. He knows where I've been, where I'm at, and where I'm to go. He has the most amazing and perfect plan for me... the one catch to that perfect plan? Letting go of all that I have planned. I can sit here and say "by June I want to accomplish this? or "After completing my job here I want to do this or that" but in James 4:13-15 it says   
 ¹³ Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” ¹⁴ Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. ¹⁵ Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.”"

I have no clue what I'm doing, but I'm confident in my lack of confidence that everything is going to work out because God is in charge.


I am asking for prayers. I want direction in where to serve and for God to reveal His purpose in my life. I know that I moved to Jersey for a reason. God did not pull me out of my comfortable life in Vegas for no reason. I know God has a plan and a purpose for Him and for His kingdom and I beg of you to please pray for God's perfect will in my life.

Blessings,

oh how God answers prayers.

So I decided to log into my myspace account and I came across a blog entry from December of 2008! It reads:

I've come to the conclusion that although I know what I want to do with my life that i'm completely open to WHATEVER God has for me. I know that is opening all the doors for craziness but i'm so ready for change or not change, whatever is God's will.  Yes, i would love to leave Vegas and experience something so different and maybe even scary. I realize that I have a great life here in Vegas. I have a great job, great friends, great family and i could never complain about it.  I just have this urge that i want to leave and travel.  I live in this great country and sometimes i feel that if i never really leave this city i might be missing out on some great moments. 

my prayer for right now is definitely for God to reveal His plan for me and for me to not be afraid to just move in whatever direction is best for my life. I can no longer be stagnant!  As pastor Jeremy always said "stagnant water begins to stink" and i definitely do not want to stink in life.

I thank God for a hope that extends past this failing economy, past the wars of the world, past the darkness.



CRAZY how less than 2 1/2 years ago I prayed for the very thing that I'm living in now.

So for this post I'm simply going to update everyone on what has been happening the past 8 weeks. There's so much so I may leave out small details.

Church - I'm not 100% grounded in a church yet but I'm okay with that. I've become more grounded in my faith and knowing who God is to me and my faith in Him that not being founded in a church is okay. Don't get me wrong-I definitely want to find one, but I'm okay not having a home church yet.

Friends- I have made some amazing friends. One in particular is a God send.. Literally! Our lives are almost mirror images of each other and our sense of humor is spot on. I love every minute that I get to spend with her and she challenges my faith in a positive way.  I've made two friends that are both Au Pairs from South Africa and they're a blast to hang out with. They're the type of girlfriends you know you're going to have an adventure whenever you're with them. They make me laugh and I feel so free when I'm with them. Also, I have a ton of friends that now live in the area of New York or on the East Coast. Its so refreshing to know people in the area who know you for who you are and I don't feel like I have to explain my past. They just know my present and we get to experience our future. Its great!

Work-  Work has gotten so much better over the last 6 weeks. I'm finally comfortable with the family and I feel at home. Its a joy to wake up every morning knowing that I get to work with two of the greatest kids ever. I'm usually gone on weekends so its by Sunday night I miss the kids.  The kids are in a routine now and its a much easier flow. Some days are hard, but that's expected with any job.

Free time/ Traveling - I've gone into NYC almost every weekend which is phenomenal and I love it so much! I'm hoping to get to Boston /D.C soon as well as Philly. I'm so excited to travel the East Coast during Spring and Summer. I'm praying that in December I'll be able to visit South Africa for a week or two.

Overall life is great here and I'm so blessed to have such a great life set up for me here. Whenever I think that it can't get better God just shows up and blesses me even more.

Blessings,

Isha E.M. Craig

A graveyard revelation

Last week as I was taking the train into upstate New York to meet up with a friend from high school, I passed an old cemetery. As we were traveling by it I thought "I would love to walk through this graveyard" (morbid.... I know). I've always loved to walk through cemeteries because I think its so interesting to read what others have put on their tombstone. If you never knew this person their tombstone is the only remaining evidence of who they are.  So then I thought "Who were these people? Where did they come from? What were their life stories? Who was at their funeral? How many people were there?"  Then I thought to myself  "I wonder what I would want put on my tombstone?  Who all would come to my funeral?"  It was then that I realized that the amount of people at your funeral can sometimes (not always) determine the impact that you've had in your lifetime.  I look at my dear friend Kyler who had over 1,000 people at his memorial service and he was only 15! 

I came up with this quote and I hope you enjoy it.  "You are worth more than the sum of your choices, more than the value that the world places on you. You are a priceless gift to this world and the impact that you make in this world will be evident in the lives of those who met you and truly knew you. Use your time, words, and actions wisely"

I pray that as you go through this life that you are moved to make a difference in this world. Sometimes I think we all believe that we have to do something HUGE to make a difference, but really all we're called to do is love and to love without expectations or boundaries.. Love unconditionally.

I love you all and when I get back from NYC this weekend I will write a blog of what has been going on in my life here on the east coast!

BLESSINGS AND LOVE!

The Ultimate Healer

I've struggled with calling God "The Healer" because sometimes people don't get healed. They don't recover from horrible diseases and illnesses. Some people struggle with whatever is ailing their body for the rest of their lives.  So, if God is the Ultimate Healer, why then does He heal some and not all?

This week I was just dealing with the mind games that are so often played in my head, even against my better judgment. I kept thinking about my past mistakes and even though I know I'm forgiven from them, to live in that forgiveness is a whole different thing. I thought about how my past choices will effect the life of my future husband and the lives of my future children.  Will they have to pay or suffer for any stupid decisions I made when I was younger?  I thought about how day to day I will never be good enough or perfect enough or even close enough to being the "perfect Christian" (If anyone knows what that looks like or how to attain it, please let me know). 
So.. where is the light at the end of this dark and self-destructive tunnel?  Its found in 1 peter 2:24-25. It says" He himself bore our sins in his body on the cross, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness;  by his wounds you have been healed. ²⁵ For you were like sheep going astray, but now you have returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls."

I love the part in verse 24 where it specifically states "by His wounds you have been healed" AMEN! all of the past choices I've made, all of the mistakes I've made, all of the stress that I've allowed to eat away at me, all of the thoughts or opinions of others that I've allowed to tear me up.... those things don't matter anymore because I am forever healed due to Jesus' wounds. It wasn't on my part or by any effort that I've made because lets get real, I will NEVER be so amazing or awesome that I can heal myself from the things that deteriorate my soul.

I believe that the actual act of sinning isn't what is horrible for you, but its the choice to live in sin. I don't mean to keep on sinning, but to actually live in your past sins.  For SOO long I lived in a home that was solely made up of all the past mistakes and sins that I committed. Here's the worse part, I built that home. I put up the walls and installed every facet of the house. I beat myself up over my my past mistakes, I layed in bed at night with my sins so angry at the thought of me, making those choices. I spent day and night with my sins. So consumed by them. It was one of the worst relationships I've ever been in.  I knew I was forgiven, but I was so overwhelmed with the knowledge of what I'd done that I never really let myself live in forgiveness. We have two options: Live in your sin (whether past, present, or future) or to live in forgiveness (past, present, and future). Believe me when I say that to live in forgiveness is a way better lifestyle.

Maybe you're thinking to yourself, "well now Isha that's great and all, but how do mistakes and sins count as illness or even compare to something such as cancer or HIV or any other disease that kills off thousands?"  Here's the deal people: Living in your past or present choices/mistakes/sins (call em' what you may) is so horrible for your body. It eats away at you and the stress that it can cause will make you physically ill. You may lay awake at night, losing sleep over it. Or perhaps you are constantly thinking about how you're not good enough to achieve a goal. Or maybe God won't bless you because you just sinned 2 minutes ago.  Here's the truth: God LOVES you so much that He wants to bless you. His love and forgiveness covers a multitude of sins.  God sent Jesus so that we may be healed of our sins. No longer do we have to live life as if we're lepers- that our sins make us too unclean or unholy enough to be loved by others or by the One. Sin and living in it, will eat away at your soul. That is not the intent or the goal of God. He so desperately desires for you to be healed and to walk in that freedom.

If someone were to be sick for an extreme amount of time, and finally they were told they were better, it would be insane for them to keep going back to the hospital, putting on the gown, laying in a bed, and acting as if they were sick. No one would do that! Who wants to live in a hospital when there's freedom to live outside of it? The same goes for you and me.  Let's take off our hospital gowns, unplug the I.V. and walk out the doors of the hospital because we know that we are 100% healed. Let us not walk back in that place ever again. You are FOREVER healed!

Blessings!

Quick update

Sorry it's been so long since I've blogged, but the past few weeks have been INSANE! I've been working the usual hours ( a few added on here and there) but I've also been traveling and hanging out with friends more (YAY!) I went to NYC this past weekend to meet up with a new friend who is amazing and I love spending time with them. I also have been involved with my young adults group at church which is such an answer to prayers. Life is improving everyday here and I can't thank you guys enough for all of your prayers and kind words!  The next blog will be on the true healing power of Christ.  I'm currently about to run out the door to go hang out with some of my lovely new friends!  Wish me luck as I venture out on St. Patty's Day here in lovely NJ!

That is all for now. Hopefully tomorrow I'll be able to right a longer blog!

Blessings!!

All Things

Two of my favorite scriptures are these:
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.- Romans 8:28
I can do all this through him who gives me strength- Philippians 4:13

What do I love most about these scriptures? The two key words: ALL THINGS! 

Sunday's section in my devotion this week (a book called The Dare-totally amazing) was about Lordship and what it means to be lord as well as what it means for Jesus to be lord of our lives/my life.  So at the end of the section there was a question. "In your own words, what's the difference between believing in Jesus and making Him LORD of your life?"   It took me a little bit to answer this because I've been taught for years that it's important to have Christ as your Lord and how to go about that, but never was I taught or even told what is the difference is and how it looks.  So after moments of thinking I came up with this answer.

" Everyone believes in Jesus. To say that he didn't exist is to be crazy. Some see him as a prophet, a good man, or even a crazy man, but they still believe. To make someone lord is to no longer have control in everything. It means going before the person with ALL requests-seeking approval or permission before making up your mind or making a decision. It means that everything you own belongs to the lord and you no longer have rights to it. It is an utter and complete surrender of EVERYTHING and ALL THINGS."

So then I thought WAIT A MINUTE! (the thought literally was that loud. I'm pretty sure any mind reader would need ear plugs to drown out the sound of that thought) (P.S. I may ramble in this so just go with)  Of course ALL THINGS would work together for my good because I've already surrendered ALL THINGS to the Lord of my life. And I can do ALL THINGS through Christ who strengthens me because I've already given lordship over those things. In fact they should have never been in my ownership but God is so nice that He allows me to try and dictate what I have ownership over)"

Now don't go getting all weird on me thinking that this isn't going to make any sense. Just relax and go with it for a second.  Think about it:  Doesn't life seem to be a bit easier or maybe less stressful when you surrender ALL THINGS.  Like "Lord, NONE of this makes any sense and I don't get it, but its yours" and let's be honest that usually isn't said until after you do EVERYTHING in your power to try to make things work and finally you're like "alright alright God I guess you can have it now"  After you say it, you automatically start to feel better. Things may not turn out the way you had hoped or intended but you know in your heart that its going to be okay. Why? Because your Lord has control of it. You've given up the steering wheel and are now allowing him to be in control. You're giving up ALL THINGS that make you comfortable and feel like you know what your doing so that He can make ALL THINGS work together for you good.  Isn't that so cool?

Sometimes we try to take lordship back but really is that ever quite possible? MAYBE but it doesn't go without a lot of struggles. Imagine someone going to the palace and saying, "Queen, its been a great ride but I just feel like I'd be better at deciding things in my life than you are. Don't get me wrong, I think you're a great woman, but um I just don't think you should dictate what goes on anymore. Thanks for everything, but I'm taking over now"    And after a few years of them screwing up in life and making their own choices they waltz back into the palace but this time with their head held not so high they say (and quite sheepishly) "Queen, I'm sorry. I tried to make all the decisions that you do and well... it just didn't work out the way I thought. Can I come back?"   I can't imagine it going the same way that it does with God when we try to give lordship to Him then take it back and the moment we realize how stupid that was we go back to him and ask Him to be Lord again. 

I'm not saying that God won't bless those that don't give him total lordship because God loves us so much that its ridiculous, but I do believe that the relationship that comes from giving Jesus Lordship is worth so much more than the freedom of being my own lord. 

I'm not quite done with this point because I'm still growing in the section in my life, but I just felt like I needed to share my thoughts.  So for tonight, that's it!

Blessings

Have you ever taken a road trip with more than just one person? I love road trips, especially when there are more than just two people in the car, however; I've come to notice that each person plays a certain role in the car ride to wherever the destination may be.

 

First you have the driver: They're in control and even though they have directions they can make any turn they want. The original destination may be San Diego, but if the driver desides that you're going to San Francisco all you can do is enjoy the ride .

 

Second you have the passenger. Now this person plays a pretty large role. They are to keep the driver entertained, hold conversationThey get the best seat on the road trip because they can see everything, but don't have to stay focused on the roadand if they want, they can take a nap.

 

Thirdly you have the back seat driversorry.. back seat passenger usually the person who opts to sit in the back seat is pretty chill. Naps often, doesn't really participate in the driving experience other than keeping up some sort of conversation, but its not required.

however, there are the rare occasions where the back seat passenger thinks they are the driver and tries to give out directions which can be quite annoying.

 

How is our faith like that? 

 

Well, our often times in life we try to be the driver, but really who wants all that responsibility?

The people who opt for the driver position are control freaks, have to have everything their way and underneath all that lies fear. Fear of relinquishing everything to someone who they may not trust 100%

fear that something may happen that they're not totally comfortable with

These are the people that think they're experiencing God and life to the fullest, but are short sided. They may get to the ultimate destination, but they'll never know the true joy of enjoying a life driven by God.

Onto the back seat passenger

These people tend to be people in life and faith that don't really question anything. A lot of people in church are back seat passengers they're simply there for the enjoyment of being there

they sit in the seats, raise their hands when it seems right, say "Amen" when everyone else does.

When it comes to their personal relationship with God, well.... a lot of times they're asleep

They don't really know God and they may get to the destination, but will have no clue how they got there. They may have asked for salvation a long time ago (thats when they agreed to go on this road trip)

or maybe they made a commitment to ministry, but somewhere down the road they don't even know what happened or how it got to the point that it is

Now a side to this back seat passenger is the back seat driver

This person wants to control some of the decisions in life, not all of them but the ones that seem important or maybe they've gone down this road before and they think they know which turns to take

sometimes this person may come across bossy but really they're just concerned that the right decisions will be made at the right time

Lastly we have the passenger. They're along for the ride. They trust the driver with everything and know that its going to be okay. For me, I absolutely trust when my friend Jo'd drives. I know that she's going to get me there safe (wherever there may be) but how did we get to the point of trust? We've traveled together so many times that we know each other and what each other is going to need and want

Is your life like that with God?

Do you allow him to be the driver of the road trip in your life? Have you spent enough time letting him be in control that you know Him? That he knows you? Or do you jump in the driver seat trying to take control of every turn?  Or do you sit back and nap until you think that God is taking you down the wrong road and that's when you all of a sudden decide its a good time to talk to Him?

What position do you take in the road trip of life?

The Sweetest Things in Life come at a price

Today was a great day in terms of my relationship with the spunky and feisty 2 year old. Normally its a battle to get goodnight kisses and she likes to try and talk back to me or give me an attitude (more than normal lol). Well today, I had morning kisses, lots of thank yous and "I welcomes" plus enough "pease" to cast a Veggie Tales full length film (hahaha.. get it?)   Tonight at bath time a wave of emotion came over me. I was dealing with an illness and after 2 doctor's visits and 45 mins at the pharmacy I was finally set. I was so exhausted from being sick every week since being here that I think it all just hit me at once.  I started to tear up and the little girl asked "Eesha, You okay?.  You okay?"  It was the sweetest thing. Her little face turned from smiles to sadness and genuine concern. I told her that I was sick and didn't feel well. She got up and gave me a kiss then said "you okay" 

After wiping my tears I decided to put on worship music to lighten the mood, well more of my mood then hers. How Great is Our God came on and her face lit up like a Christmas tree. She stood up in the tub and started dancing. She began singing along with the song (even though she has no clue what the words are). In that moment, all of my worries and and concerns for the moment were gone. How could I be worried or stressed about anything when I have a gorgeous 2 year old singing worship songs in the tub?  In that moment I realized just how great I have it here and that my purpose here is so clear. I am to be a light into this young girls life. She's in love with Veggie Tales (which she calls "her potatoes") and LOVES worship music.

I may not be getting paid a lot and my spending limit is MUCH less than what I'm used to, but looking back at the days when I made way too much money for an 18 year old, I realize that at this point in my life money doesn't mean a thing. I look at Paul or any of the 12 disciples who gave up everything to follow the will of God. Its a scary thought to change your lifestyle and have faith that you're taking the right steps, but i'm confident in saying that the disciples probably shared the same faith boosters when they saw the impact that they were having in lives around them.

My challenge today:  What are you willing to sacrifice in your life to impact the lives around you (or maybe its just one life that God is calling you to impact)  For some it may be time, for others money, and for some it may be control of situations, while for others it may be the mindset that their opinion needs to be spoken at every moment of the day. Whether it's all, one, or none of these I pray that you would pray and search your heart to see what God is asking of you to lay aside. I promise you this: that the sweetest things in life come when you decide to sacrifice something of importance to you.


Blessings

Not Just A Celestial Being

I always found it interesting when people thought of God as a celestial being. I understood where they came from because for some people God never "revealed himself" to them or they never really had a relationship with God.

This past week was really rough on me because I was starting to get super homesick, missing my friends back home, and getting down because I don't have anyone here that is my age. Plus, walking around NYC by yourself knowing you're not going to meet anyone at any point throughout the day is quite upsetting and somewhat depressing. For a few nights I would cry myself to sleep and cry out to the Lord in desperation. " Lord, what the heck?  I'm out here, all by myself with no friends and i only have little kids, a dog, and 2 older adults to talk to.  I realize you have a plan, but some friends would be nice. Thanks!"   Thursday I even broke down with the mom and cried on her shoulder as I apologized for seeming like I didn't want to be here and locking myself in my room the past few nights. It was quite dramatic and I reminded myself of her two year old daughter ( i swear we're a lot alike) 

So Friday rolled around and we were going to a toddlers dance class (if you've never been to one, I HIGHLY suggest you attend because its hysterical to watch kids run around in little tutus.) and I met this young girl who said she was a nanny as well. I swear, my heart almost stop beating because i was so happy to meet someone my age, who works with kids as well. We exchanged numbers and later we met up with some of her friends, who are also nannies. It was so refreshing to be around people my age and just go out dancing.

Today I met up with a friend of the family who lives in NYC and we had brunch for an hour an a half. I left the city feeling so good about having met another person my age and having someone else to talk to.

SO... what does this all have to do with God??  Well, dear friends I realized (actually I re-realized) how much God loves me. I was sitting around crying my eyes out about needing friends, and not even a week later I make 4. It's like God just knows how much our hearts break and He reaches out to bless us, no expectation of anything in return. I think of a really great parent who loves their kid so much that they'll do anything to stop their kid from hurting.  It breaks their heart so much to see their kid in pain or misery so they go to lengths to show them how much they love them and want them to be okay. That's how God is. He loves us so much that He will go to any length to help us out and show us that He loves us.

God may not be evident to you or He may not seem real to you, but I promise you that He loves you more than you could ever imagine and is looking out for you and wants to cover you with the biggest blanket of love and protection. Sometimes, crappy things happen in our life, but I know that when the good things happen, it's God just reassuring us that He's still right there by our sides.  In the movie "Where the Heart Is" Natalie Portman says "You tell them that our lives can change with every breath we take... and tell 'em to hold on like hell to what they've got: each other, and a mother who would die for them and almost did... You tell them we've all got meanness in us, but we've got goodness too. And the only thing worth living for is the good. And that's why we've got to make sure we pass it on."  

I pray that you hold on to the good inside of you and around you. When someone smiles at you, pays you a compliment, or does something nice for you-hold onto those moments. Life is going to give you moments that are going to suck but holding onto the good and the knowledge that God is out there protecting you and loving you, that my friends will get you through life.  I promise that God is not just a celestial being, but a Father that stands right next to you and desires to spend time with you, love you, talk with you, walk with you, and have a deep relationship with you.

Blessings!

just a small update

 So I thought I would give you guys more of a life update this time around.

Today was a bit rough to get through. I woke up several times throughout the night and finally got out of bed at 7:50 (mind you, I have to be up AND ready by 8:00). Today started the new schedule of having 30 minute intervals of things to do throughout the day.  In the morning we went to a singing class at one of the local centers which was really fun and my zany 2 year old was in love with the program full of scarves,bubbles, blocks, and shaker eggs.  We continued the day with an early nap, which lead to an early wake up, which turned into an early session of VEGGIE TALES (she calls them "her potatoes" and causes me to smile eveytime). After watching "her potatoes" we had a mid-day snack, went for a walk to the park, came home, and watched an episode of barney. It was a quick day and I am really enjoying having a schedule set for each day.

Lately, I've become home sick and I think its because I've never been away from Vegas for more than 2 weeks at a time. I know that God is doing great things in my life here and is going to use me big time.  I can feel everyone's prayers and the moments I get down something always happens to pick me back up again.  I can't wait til the day that this becomes somewhat normal and maybe call this home rather than a home away from home.  I miss everyone of you and I can't wait to get home to visit.  LOVE YOU GUYS!!

Blessings.

Its all about perspective

Perspective:  the capacity to view things in their true relations or relative importance

So how does this definition apply to life and faith? Well friends-let me tell you. I was sitting in church yesterday and while I should have been worshiping the King of Kings and being amazed that God would bless us with His presence, I was selfishly thinking about how homesick I was, how tired I was, how much I wanted to drive Lorenzo (my car) and hang out with my friends, and how I looked in my super cute outfit (stupid girl thought).  It was then that I looked up and while singing "How Great Is Our God" I saw Johnny, a man who struggles to stand up, walk, and even talk, raising his deformed hands in worship with his eyes closed so tightly as if he was seeing the very God that we desire to know more and singing at the top of his lungs in celebration that God is great.  At that very moment I realized that my perspective was off.  My capacity to see things to their relative importance was extremely small.  Here I was, complaining about all the minuet items in my head and Johnny was solely focused on how great God is, regardless of life's circumstances.  


There are more important things in life to think about rather than focusing on that crap. Now, don't get me wrong. I believe that those thoughts have a time and a place; however, during worship was not the proper time.  So maybe a side note to perspective (when it comes to faith) is this: That there is a time and a place for all things (Ecclesiastes 3:1) and that we need to make sure that our perspective is correct to not mix up the important things in life.

Love is all you need

Good morning!! So today I was reading in 1John chapter 4. I love 1 John 4 because its all about love and more so, its about God's love to us and for us. Verse 16 says this: "We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love. God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them" Verse 17 continues on to say "And as we live in God, our love grows more perfect....."   I asked myself today "Do I live in love? Does every being of me love people? Do I act as though I love people.. truly? Because if I don't, then does God live in me?"  Ultimately our goal as Christians should be to grow, to not be stagnant or constant. If we live God, which is living in love (according to verse 16) then our love will GROW more perfect which means that we are growing toward perfection.
   I have a dear friend who tattooed the word "LOVE" on her side to remind her that love fixes so many problems and that if people just loved more, the world would be a better place. I believe that she is 100% right and she has a desire to live in love. She is one of the most forgiving and loving people I have ever met. Regardless of the way people have treated her, she still loves them. I love that about her and strive to be like that.
   I urge you today to go and live in love so that you may live in God and He in you!

Blessings!!

Grace and living in who we are

So this Sunday I attended church at Kings Highway Faith Fellowship which is this phenomenal church that is filled with the holy spirit and people who love the Lord as well as each other. I really feel like this could be my home church.  This particular Sunday there was a gentleman who had traveled all the way from Poland to speak. He was so amazing to listen to.  One of the things that stuck out to me, among the 3 1/2 pages of notes that I took, was the concept that "we touch lives by who we are, not who we were because we are altered and different."  and I went on to write in my journal this idea:  We touch lives by who we are, not who we were because we are altered and different. Yet, we shatter lives because of who were were, not who we are"  So what the heck does that mean? Let me give you an example. You've gotten into a heated conversation with a good friend over Lord knows what and you have the opportunity to tear this person apart with a few choice words. The person you were before you knew Christ would go off on them and give them more than just those few choice words. Living in who you WERE shatters that person's life.  However; living in who you ARE means holding your tongue and choosing to act in love rather than pride. 
       Now you may be saying to yourself  "Yeah yeah Isha. That sounds lovely and like a great idea, but how exactly am I supposed to go about doing that? You don't know the people I deal with or how easily annoyed I get"  And to that I would answer "#1) You obviously don't know me too well AND...#2) God's grace is how you'll do that"  In 1 Corinthians 12 :8 & 9 Paul pleads with God three times to take away the thorn in his side. Are you kidding me? Three times??!!  Um.. hello Paul? Did you not get the idea that God wasn't going to take it away from you after pleading 2 times?  Obviously not!  So God replies to him "My grace is sufficient for you, my power is made perfect in your weakness"   It is through God's grace that we do all things. God has already given you the grace to get through the crap that life dishes out. And guess what? That grace is more than enough... it's SUFFICIENT! One of the synonyms for sufficient is free. Isn't that so cool. God's grace is free! Like, you'll always have enough because it's free. You didn't have to pay for it or earn it. You didn't have to work for it, slave away your days for it. It's FREE...SUFFICIENT! (Ephesians 2:8-10. Which even states that grace was given to us so that we may do good works, which were prepared for us in advance- SOO COOL!!) 

So tonight I leave you with the thought that God's grace was given to us so that we may live as who we ARE not who we WERE!

Good night and Blessings!

Temporary Home

Today I had the kids by myself along with the help of the lovely 75 Irish grandmother (who is hilarious and reminds me of Robin Williams impersonation of an old scottish lady) I dropped the spunky 2 yr old off at daycare and after feeding the baby, putting him to bed I was able to drive to Target (a 15 minute drive away!). As I was driving I looked around at the picturesque setting of houses amidst a forest of trees with the ocean breeze coming in from a few miles away. I saw the sun beaming through the trees and it hit me...."This is my new home" 
Of course, Vegas will always be my first home and there is not other place like it, but Atlantic Highlands is now my new home.  However; it hit me that it's like life in general. Earth, is not our first home but it is our current home. We are to make the best of it and work hard at everything we do, even if it tires us out and makes us hold our tongue when all we want to do is yell. We are to be a part of this world, but never forget where we come from.

For the next 6 months to a year I am going to practice this til I know I'm a professional: Working hard, being patient, and smiling through all the moments I want to cry.

Blessings!

A Junglerific Day

My first full day was quite busy and exciting! I started it off by completing a not so full night's rest. I even had a very vivid dream that the little girl came into my room to wake me up and when I arose to her waking me up, she ran away screaming. When I finally woke up at 8:00am I had to question if that truly happened or not. I got dressed, but some make up on (I don't know how often I'll be doing that in the next few months to follow so I figured I should do it as much as possible now) and went upstairs to greet the family. The young girl was not awake so I spent some time with the mom and the precious baby. After eating a delicious bowl of cheerios I went upstairs to wake up the spunky 2 year old. She responded by saying "No" and went back to sleep and with that I decided that we have more in common than I had previously assumed.  Once everyone in the house was awake we headed out for the days activities that included a trip to the dollar store to get some awesome art supplies. We then headed to an awesome place called Junglerific which is a huge jungle gym and arcade geared toward small children. There are small toddler and baby toys around, as well as bouncy toys for the smaller children. It was awesome and I totally enjoyed playing with my new companion who constantly said "Again Eeesha! Again!" 

We left Junglerific and headed home as it was nap time. After nap time was lunch and lunch was followed by a surprisingly easy departure as mom left for a doctor's appointment and to run a few errands. This was it... the test run to see how the next 6 months would go. There was the typical testing of limits and normal 2 yr old meltdowns, but nothing was too hard to handle and no blood was shed (just a few tears). I am confident that the days that follow will be hard, but hopefully no bloodshed or broken bones will be experienced.  I am SOO  grateful that God got me through this day and we'll see how tomorrow goes. 

Blessings....

Coffee, Families, and Flights

Amidst the sound of Italian music playing at the starbucks, the sound of a woman taping her credit card as she waits impatiently on her diet soda, a family of 5 rearranging seats to crowd around a table that barely seats 2, is the sound of my heart beating faster than it has in a long while. I'm about 30 minutes away from boarding a plane to Newark, New Jersey. I've always wanted to leave Vegas, but now the opportunity has come and its so surreal that this could be happening to me. I'm encapsulated by a sea of emotions. Fear, excitement, sadness, happiness, anxiousness, anticipation of what's to come, dreading the cold that will overtake my life for the next few months, joy for the new adventure that awaits me.  Last night, as I laid awake in bed I thought "Lord, this is crazy. I mean, not crazy bad or crazy like You don't know what You're doing, but a crazy that seems near impossible and without you it wouldn't be possible" 

A year ago I prayed "Lord, make me uncomfortable". For those of you that have yet to pray this prayer....don't! Not unless you're prepared to be thrown into a crazy whirlwind of emotions, changes, and challenges. It's like the prayer "Lord, give me patience" You know you need it, but once you get what you asked for you no longer want it. Since then I have been living out of suitcases, never at home for more than a few days at a time, lost friends, gained new ones, changed jobs more times than I can count and now I'm moving almost 3,000 miles away from everything that makes me comfortable!  

I'm excited for this new chapter where I get to be away from anything that is familiar to me. I know that God does the biggest things when He has you by yourself because you're not so easily distracted from what He's trying to tell you. I'm ready for a more intimate relationship with the Lord and to know more of where He's taking me. I am so grateful for all that He's doing in my life and can't wait to see what's next.  

I hope that you guys will join me on this new adventure where I'm totally uncomfortable and open to whatever God has for me.

I am so thankful for all the prayers, letters, encouraging words, and all the love that has been shown to me!! You guys are my family and I love you!!!