I've struggled with calling God "The Healer" because sometimes people don't get healed. They don't recover from horrible diseases and illnesses. Some people struggle with whatever is ailing their body for the rest of their lives. So, if God is the Ultimate Healer, why then does He heal some and not all?
This week I was just dealing with the mind games that are so often played in my head, even against my better judgment. I kept thinking about my past mistakes and even though I know I'm forgiven from them, to live in that forgiveness is a whole different thing. I thought about how my past choices will effect the life of my future husband and the lives of my future children. Will they have to pay or suffer for any stupid decisions I made when I was younger? I thought about how day to day I will never be good enough or perfect enough or even close enough to being the "perfect Christian" (If anyone knows what that looks like or how to attain it, please let me know).
So.. where is the light at the end of this dark and self-destructive tunnel? Its found in 1 peter 2:24-25. It says" He himself bore our sins in his body on the cross, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed. 25 For you were like sheep going astray, but now you have returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls."
I love the part in verse 24 where it specifically states "by His wounds you have been healed" AMEN! all of the past choices I've made, all of the mistakes I've made, all of the stress that I've allowed to eat away at me, all of the thoughts or opinions of others that I've allowed to tear me up.... those things don't matter anymore because I am forever healed due to Jesus' wounds. It wasn't on my part or by any effort that I've made because lets get real, I will NEVER be so amazing or awesome that I can heal myself from the things that deteriorate my soul.
I believe that the actual act of sinning isn't what is horrible for you, but its the choice to live in sin. I don't mean to keep on sinning, but to actually live in your past sins. For SOO long I lived in a home that was solely made up of all the past mistakes and sins that I committed. Here's the worse part, I built that home. I put up the walls and installed every facet of the house. I beat myself up over my my past mistakes, I layed in bed at night with my sins so angry at the thought of me, making those choices. I spent day and night with my sins. So consumed by them. It was one of the worst relationships I've ever been in. I knew I was forgiven, but I was so overwhelmed with the knowledge of what I'd done that I never really let myself live in forgiveness. We have two options: Live in your sin (whether past, present, or future) or to live in forgiveness (past, present, and future). Believe me when I say that to live in forgiveness is a way better lifestyle.
Maybe you're thinking to yourself, "well now Isha that's great and all, but how do mistakes and sins count as illness or even compare to something such as cancer or HIV or any other disease that kills off thousands?" Here's the deal people: Living in your past or present choices/mistakes/sins (call em' what you may) is so horrible for your body. It eats away at you and the stress that it can cause will make you physically ill. You may lay awake at night, losing sleep over it. Or perhaps you are constantly thinking about how you're not good enough to achieve a goal. Or maybe God won't bless you because you just sinned 2 minutes ago. Here's the truth: God LOVES you so much that He wants to bless you. His love and forgiveness covers a multitude of sins. God sent Jesus so that we may be healed of our sins. No longer do we have to live life as if we're lepers- that our sins make us too unclean or unholy enough to be loved by others or by the One. Sin and living in it, will eat away at your soul. That is not the intent or the goal of God. He so desperately desires for you to be healed and to walk in that freedom.
If someone were to be sick for an extreme amount of time, and finally they were told they were better, it would be insane for them to keep going back to the hospital, putting on the gown, laying in a bed, and acting as if they were sick. No one would do that! Who wants to live in a hospital when there's freedom to live outside of it? The same goes for you and me. Let's take off our hospital gowns, unplug the I.V. and walk out the doors of the hospital because we know that we are 100% healed. Let us not walk back in that place ever again. You are FOREVER healed!
Blessings!
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