For this post, I'm simply going to update all of my west coast friends of what is going on in my life. I have been BLESSED beyond belief over the past month and I cannot wait to tell you what has been happening.
First off: my faith is soaring through the roof! Praise God! :) I have come to realize so much more about my faith than I could ever imagine and the greatest part is knowing that I still have so much more to discover. Right now I'm in love with grace. I have come to realize that there is nothing I can do to receive more grace and there is nothing I can do to receive less grace. That grace is given to me because of my faith. Its a simple concept, but it just now hit me!
I'm attending a WONDERFUL church called Relevant. If you'd like you can check out their website at www.relevantnj.com They believe in being missional in the everyday sense. Getting out into the community in more than just one way or in one aspect is a core belief of theirs. The worship is great and the people are even better. Its full of real people who are aren't afraid to admit when they're broken or in need of something. I love the atmosphere of the church.
I have started attending a bible study/book study (Beth Moore). Its full of young women around my age who are hungry to learn more about God and the faith that we claim. I'm really loving it and have found some great friends through it.
My job as a nanny is going really well and I've fallen into the daily routine of waking up, eating breakfast, feeding the kids, getting Shannon dressed, then working on the letter of the week(s), playing outside or going somewhere, napping the kids, lunch, and just getting throughout the day. The family has really taken me in and is loving on me constantly. There's moments where I miss home, but mostly because Vegas was comfortable and I didn't have to work at life so hard.
So here's the big news! No... I'm not dating or engaged yet (sorry to those who were hoping for that. lol) I will be attending a small Christian college here in NJ! If all the paperwork goes through I will be starting in 5 weeks (Crazy right?!) I am going for my degree in Biblical Studies with an emphasis in youth ministry. My heart has ALWAYS been in ministry, but I never felt like it would a full time thing. Apparently, God has other plans for me. I am so excited about this new adventure. I FINALLY qualify for my financial aid because I'm considered an independent student. I cannot believe how quickly this has come together, but with God all things are possible.
So ladies and gentleman, that is the quick and short update on my life! I love all of you dearly and miss you so much! God is working BIG time here in NJ and I ask that you would keep this state in prayer. There is a lot that God is wanting to do, so please pray for workers to bring in the harvest.
BLESSINGS!
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Who would hug a rose bush?
So the question of the day is: Who would hug a rose bush? They're beautiful from afar and they produce such awesome flowers that smell good and light up a room, however they are full of thorns that are extremely painful and are not easy to get around. I feel like this question is equivalent to asking someone if they'd want to hug a cactus. No one in their right mind would. So what's the difference between a rose bush and a cactus? At least with a cactus you know what you're getting. You go into that situation knowing its going to be painful. A cactus doesn't disguise its thorns with wonderful flowers and green leaves. That sucker lets you know that if you get too close you're going to feel pain. A rose bush, however; cleverly disguises its thorns with flowers, leaves, and wonderful scents that draw the outsider in. Not only until your too close for comfort do you discover that there are painful thorns under all of that beauty.
Last night while at a bible study, a woman told us that God told her that she was infected with thorns. That He, nor anyone else could get close to her because she had all of her defenses up or as he described them-thorns. She had become so infected over the years that intimacy with her was impossible.
This visual had me start thinking: how often in life do we live as rose bushes? We come off as this wonderful person who has it all together with so many wonderful attributes. We're social, we're happy and go lucky, we speak as if we know everything. Even more so, in the christian realm we act as if we're the "perfect Christian". We live our lives by the book and every question is answered with a reference to scripture. We're involved in our churches, our friends are all Christians, we attend church on a regular if not religious basis, and if anyone asks you how we're doing the answered is "blessed". Don't get me wrong, that's all fine and dandy but the real question is this, "How well do you know God and how well are you known by Him?" So often I have found people, and I'm including myself in this group, that have it all together on the outside and people put them on a throne, but underneath it all is a a person full of thorns. They have their defenses up and it's not until you get too close for comfort do you see their flaws and the very thing that they cling to. For some those thorns are insecurities and low self esteem, for others they're a past that daily haunts them, and for some they're the doubts and fears that they will never be enough for God and that God is so far away that there is no possible way that He could love them in a deep and personal way.
For me, I'd much rather be surrounded by people that live their lives as cacti. They are upfront and honest about their failures, flaws,and fears. It takes a lot less effort to be around them because you know exactly where they're at. You can speak directly into their lives with truth and love because what they're telling you is honest and real so therefore you can be real with them. They know where they're at and so do you. This world needs more cacti. They need real Christians who are honest and upfront about where they're at in their lives, not Christians who portray the role of a "holier than thou" person who's only spot is in the limelight. They're sick of being surrounded by Christians who show off their roses but once they get to know that person they get hurt and run from the very thing they need-Jesus.
My challenge for today is that you would start to question whether you are a rosebush or a cactus. If you find that you're more like a rosebush, ask God to start the process of removing the things and areas in your life that prevent you from being real. And if you're more like a cactus then congratulations, but it doesn't mean you get to end there. Pray that God will help remove the thorns in your side as well so that you can have a more intimate relationship with Christ as well as those around you.
Blessings,
Last night while at a bible study, a woman told us that God told her that she was infected with thorns. That He, nor anyone else could get close to her because she had all of her defenses up or as he described them-thorns. She had become so infected over the years that intimacy with her was impossible.
This visual had me start thinking: how often in life do we live as rose bushes? We come off as this wonderful person who has it all together with so many wonderful attributes. We're social, we're happy and go lucky, we speak as if we know everything. Even more so, in the christian realm we act as if we're the "perfect Christian". We live our lives by the book and every question is answered with a reference to scripture. We're involved in our churches, our friends are all Christians, we attend church on a regular if not religious basis, and if anyone asks you how we're doing the answered is "blessed". Don't get me wrong, that's all fine and dandy but the real question is this, "How well do you know God and how well are you known by Him?" So often I have found people, and I'm including myself in this group, that have it all together on the outside and people put them on a throne, but underneath it all is a a person full of thorns. They have their defenses up and it's not until you get too close for comfort do you see their flaws and the very thing that they cling to. For some those thorns are insecurities and low self esteem, for others they're a past that daily haunts them, and for some they're the doubts and fears that they will never be enough for God and that God is so far away that there is no possible way that He could love them in a deep and personal way.
For me, I'd much rather be surrounded by people that live their lives as cacti. They are upfront and honest about their failures, flaws,and fears. It takes a lot less effort to be around them because you know exactly where they're at. You can speak directly into their lives with truth and love because what they're telling you is honest and real so therefore you can be real with them. They know where they're at and so do you. This world needs more cacti. They need real Christians who are honest and upfront about where they're at in their lives, not Christians who portray the role of a "holier than thou" person who's only spot is in the limelight. They're sick of being surrounded by Christians who show off their roses but once they get to know that person they get hurt and run from the very thing they need-Jesus.
My challenge for today is that you would start to question whether you are a rosebush or a cactus. If you find that you're more like a rosebush, ask God to start the process of removing the things and areas in your life that prevent you from being real. And if you're more like a cactus then congratulations, but it doesn't mean you get to end there. Pray that God will help remove the thorns in your side as well so that you can have a more intimate relationship with Christ as well as those around you.
Blessings,
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Feeling like Israel, but knowing I'm Peter
Have you ever wanted something so bad that you're willing to do whatever it takes to get it? Have you ever wanted something so bad that it's a constant part of your everyday prayer, even if you know it may not be the best for you? Have you ever gotten that something then realized how much you really don't want it? Recently I've gone through this. There was something that I wanted so bad, even though I knew it wasn't what God wanted for me and it wasn't healthy for me. I didn't care. I prayed about it, thought about it, had dreams about it, and it was a constant in conversations with friends. I knew God was saying, "Isha, this isn't what I have for you... not yet. I have blessed you beyond measure yet you still ask for more" My response? "I know God and I'm grateful (I wasn't truly grateful or I wouldn't have been asking for more) but I REALLY want this. I know, I know-it may not be the best, but come on God! Haven't I done a lot for you? Have I not given up my comfort, my time, my money, my status for you? I'm only asking for this ONE thing" Well, lo and behold I got what I wanted. But once I had it, I mean, really had it, I discovered that it wasn't what I thought it was going to be like.
If you don't know the story of Israel, let me give you a synopsis. Israel was God's chosen nation-His people. He had removed them from slavery, given them tons of land and riches, and had truly blessed them beyond measure. He LOVED this nation and the people. However, one day (probably like years) Israel asks God for a king. They plead with him stating that "All the other nations have kings" (Now if you're a parent or work with kids you know EXACTLY what this sounds like... "but mom, ALL the other kids have it. Why can't I?" Funny how things remain the same,even thousands of years later) So God responds back with "You are my chosen people and this is not the path that I have chosen for you. I have called you to a life of freedom and a higher standard than all the other nations. A king is not what I have for you." So Israel responds back (and I imagine them doing so in a "2 year old throwing a fit" manner. There may have even been stomping of feet.) "BUT GOD!! We really want a king!" So what does God do? He "blesses" their wish and gives them a king. Shortly down the road, Israel realizes that the king they got, was not what they expected. He was horrible, mean, and out right evil" But God let them suffer for some time. Later of course God does His thing, and truly blesses them with King David who is known as "A man after God's own heart"
So... what does my life have to do with Israel? Well folks, for a short time (even though it felt like forever) I truly thought to myself "oh man! I'm freakin' Israel right now! I wanted a king, got one, and now I don't want it. I felt like God was telling me, "Isha, you have to figure this one out on your own. I gave you countless ways out of this and you chose to desire and pursue it anyway. I love you, just like I loved Israel, but for now you have to do this by yourself. I'm here with you, just not the way you may want" Let you me tell you something, those few days of feeling like Israel were the hardest days. I've never really felt alone. I knew God was RIGHT there with me, fighting for me, but I have to say that I really felt abandoned. I knew I had made a wrong choice in wanting something that wasn't in God's will and I had to figure it out. Crazy part of it is, I almost considered "turning" and surrendering all that I had fought for to simply give in.
Don't worry, there's a bright side to this story. I was driving home from church the other day and realized "I'm not Israel. I'm more like Peter. Now Peter was an AWESOME guy. In the gospels Peter and John are constantly being chosen by Jesus to go with him and he gave them A LOT of authority, probably more so than the other disciples. Well Peter was the one who denied knowing Jesus 3 times in a row during his trial and crucifixion, even though he told Jesus "I'll never deny you" I don't know about you, but if I was Peter I'd feel like crap. You just denied knowing your best friend, and the very Savior of your life. After denying Him, Jesus dies on the cross and Peter is left in this middle ground. "Am I forgiven? How could I just do something like that? Who am I to deny everything I know to be true?" It never mentions it, but I'm sure Peter was beating himself up over it. Well after Jesus is resurrected He makes a point to go visit Peter and reinstate him. He knew how broken Peter was over it and made sure to tell him how much He loved him. That his mistake, his choice, did not mean that God was done with him yet or the plan for his life. Peter later became the very rock of which the Church started (Acts 2:41).
I came to the conclusion, that although I felt like I was Israel, I truly am more like Peter. Peter, made a stupid choice and felt horrible for it, but God wasn't finished with him yet. He used him to bring over 3,000 souls to the Kingdom. Our choices do not dictate whether or not God's plan for us changes. He sees my heart, knows my true desires and I am overly confident that God is not finished with me yet, even if I was like Israel wanting something that isn't healthy.
My challenge(s) this week: 1)Be content with what you have and where you're at in life. If you are living out the will of God and have a heart to serve/please Him, you will be blessed beyond measure. 2) If you've made a choice that you know isn't best for you, do not lose hope. God is not finished with you yet and His love for you outweighs any choice or decision you've made. God has a higher purpose for each of us and if you are willing to follow Him, He will make straight your paths.
BLESSINGS!!
If you don't know the story of Israel, let me give you a synopsis. Israel was God's chosen nation-His people. He had removed them from slavery, given them tons of land and riches, and had truly blessed them beyond measure. He LOVED this nation and the people. However, one day (probably like years) Israel asks God for a king. They plead with him stating that "All the other nations have kings" (Now if you're a parent or work with kids you know EXACTLY what this sounds like... "but mom, ALL the other kids have it. Why can't I?" Funny how things remain the same,even thousands of years later) So God responds back with "You are my chosen people and this is not the path that I have chosen for you. I have called you to a life of freedom and a higher standard than all the other nations. A king is not what I have for you." So Israel responds back (and I imagine them doing so in a "2 year old throwing a fit" manner. There may have even been stomping of feet.) "BUT GOD!! We really want a king!" So what does God do? He "blesses" their wish and gives them a king. Shortly down the road, Israel realizes that the king they got, was not what they expected. He was horrible, mean, and out right evil" But God let them suffer for some time. Later of course God does His thing, and truly blesses them with King David who is known as "A man after God's own heart"
So... what does my life have to do with Israel? Well folks, for a short time (even though it felt like forever) I truly thought to myself "oh man! I'm freakin' Israel right now! I wanted a king, got one, and now I don't want it. I felt like God was telling me, "Isha, you have to figure this one out on your own. I gave you countless ways out of this and you chose to desire and pursue it anyway. I love you, just like I loved Israel, but for now you have to do this by yourself. I'm here with you, just not the way you may want" Let you me tell you something, those few days of feeling like Israel were the hardest days. I've never really felt alone. I knew God was RIGHT there with me, fighting for me, but I have to say that I really felt abandoned. I knew I had made a wrong choice in wanting something that wasn't in God's will and I had to figure it out. Crazy part of it is, I almost considered "turning" and surrendering all that I had fought for to simply give in.
Don't worry, there's a bright side to this story. I was driving home from church the other day and realized "I'm not Israel. I'm more like Peter. Now Peter was an AWESOME guy. In the gospels Peter and John are constantly being chosen by Jesus to go with him and he gave them A LOT of authority, probably more so than the other disciples. Well Peter was the one who denied knowing Jesus 3 times in a row during his trial and crucifixion, even though he told Jesus "I'll never deny you" I don't know about you, but if I was Peter I'd feel like crap. You just denied knowing your best friend, and the very Savior of your life. After denying Him, Jesus dies on the cross and Peter is left in this middle ground. "Am I forgiven? How could I just do something like that? Who am I to deny everything I know to be true?" It never mentions it, but I'm sure Peter was beating himself up over it. Well after Jesus is resurrected He makes a point to go visit Peter and reinstate him. He knew how broken Peter was over it and made sure to tell him how much He loved him. That his mistake, his choice, did not mean that God was done with him yet or the plan for his life. Peter later became the very rock of which the Church started (Acts 2:41).
I came to the conclusion, that although I felt like I was Israel, I truly am more like Peter. Peter, made a stupid choice and felt horrible for it, but God wasn't finished with him yet. He used him to bring over 3,000 souls to the Kingdom. Our choices do not dictate whether or not God's plan for us changes. He sees my heart, knows my true desires and I am overly confident that God is not finished with me yet, even if I was like Israel wanting something that isn't healthy.
My challenge(s) this week: 1)Be content with what you have and where you're at in life. If you are living out the will of God and have a heart to serve/please Him, you will be blessed beyond measure. 2) If you've made a choice that you know isn't best for you, do not lose hope. God is not finished with you yet and His love for you outweighs any choice or decision you've made. God has a higher purpose for each of us and if you are willing to follow Him, He will make straight your paths.
BLESSINGS!!
Monday, June 6, 2011
When one door closes...
I don't know about you, but I struggle with closing doors in my life. I avoid saying goodbye like its the black plague. Maybe because its so final or because it signifies change, whether good or bad. People say that when one door closes, another one opens, but I find in my life that isn't always true. Sometimes, I close a door and I am directed down a hall with only walls and arrows to follow, no doors. Not for awhile.
Thats where I'm at right now. Standing outside of a room, avoiding closing that door and avoiding a hall. I don't have a lot to say other than I know God has equipped me with enough strength and courage to close the door and that the hall is fully lit so I'm not afraid, just stubborn. :)
If you're struggling with where you're at in life or you know its time to close a door but you're hesitant just know that you're not alone. Nor are you ill-equipped. God knows what He's doing and even if another door doesn't seem open, you may simply need to walk down a hall to find the next open door.
Blessings
Thats where I'm at right now. Standing outside of a room, avoiding closing that door and avoiding a hall. I don't have a lot to say other than I know God has equipped me with enough strength and courage to close the door and that the hall is fully lit so I'm not afraid, just stubborn. :)
If you're struggling with where you're at in life or you know its time to close a door but you're hesitant just know that you're not alone. Nor are you ill-equipped. God knows what He's doing and even if another door doesn't seem open, you may simply need to walk down a hall to find the next open door.
Blessings
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