Not Just A Celestial Being

I always found it interesting when people thought of God as a celestial being. I understood where they came from because for some people God never "revealed himself" to them or they never really had a relationship with God.

This past week was really rough on me because I was starting to get super homesick, missing my friends back home, and getting down because I don't have anyone here that is my age. Plus, walking around NYC by yourself knowing you're not going to meet anyone at any point throughout the day is quite upsetting and somewhat depressing. For a few nights I would cry myself to sleep and cry out to the Lord in desperation. " Lord, what the heck?  I'm out here, all by myself with no friends and i only have little kids, a dog, and 2 older adults to talk to.  I realize you have a plan, but some friends would be nice. Thanks!"   Thursday I even broke down with the mom and cried on her shoulder as I apologized for seeming like I didn't want to be here and locking myself in my room the past few nights. It was quite dramatic and I reminded myself of her two year old daughter ( i swear we're a lot alike) 

So Friday rolled around and we were going to a toddlers dance class (if you've never been to one, I HIGHLY suggest you attend because its hysterical to watch kids run around in little tutus.) and I met this young girl who said she was a nanny as well. I swear, my heart almost stop beating because i was so happy to meet someone my age, who works with kids as well. We exchanged numbers and later we met up with some of her friends, who are also nannies. It was so refreshing to be around people my age and just go out dancing.

Today I met up with a friend of the family who lives in NYC and we had brunch for an hour an a half. I left the city feeling so good about having met another person my age and having someone else to talk to.

SO... what does this all have to do with God??  Well, dear friends I realized (actually I re-realized) how much God loves me. I was sitting around crying my eyes out about needing friends, and not even a week later I make 4. It's like God just knows how much our hearts break and He reaches out to bless us, no expectation of anything in return. I think of a really great parent who loves their kid so much that they'll do anything to stop their kid from hurting.  It breaks their heart so much to see their kid in pain or misery so they go to lengths to show them how much they love them and want them to be okay. That's how God is. He loves us so much that He will go to any length to help us out and show us that He loves us.

God may not be evident to you or He may not seem real to you, but I promise you that He loves you more than you could ever imagine and is looking out for you and wants to cover you with the biggest blanket of love and protection. Sometimes, crappy things happen in our life, but I know that when the good things happen, it's God just reassuring us that He's still right there by our sides.  In the movie "Where the Heart Is" Natalie Portman says "You tell them that our lives can change with every breath we take... and tell 'em to hold on like hell to what they've got: each other, and a mother who would die for them and almost did... You tell them we've all got meanness in us, but we've got goodness too. And the only thing worth living for is the good. And that's why we've got to make sure we pass it on."  

I pray that you hold on to the good inside of you and around you. When someone smiles at you, pays you a compliment, or does something nice for you-hold onto those moments. Life is going to give you moments that are going to suck but holding onto the good and the knowledge that God is out there protecting you and loving you, that my friends will get you through life.  I promise that God is not just a celestial being, but a Father that stands right next to you and desires to spend time with you, love you, talk with you, walk with you, and have a deep relationship with you.

Blessings!

just a small update

 So I thought I would give you guys more of a life update this time around.

Today was a bit rough to get through. I woke up several times throughout the night and finally got out of bed at 7:50 (mind you, I have to be up AND ready by 8:00). Today started the new schedule of having 30 minute intervals of things to do throughout the day.  In the morning we went to a singing class at one of the local centers which was really fun and my zany 2 year old was in love with the program full of scarves,bubbles, blocks, and shaker eggs.  We continued the day with an early nap, which lead to an early wake up, which turned into an early session of VEGGIE TALES (she calls them "her potatoes" and causes me to smile eveytime). After watching "her potatoes" we had a mid-day snack, went for a walk to the park, came home, and watched an episode of barney. It was a quick day and I am really enjoying having a schedule set for each day.

Lately, I've become home sick and I think its because I've never been away from Vegas for more than 2 weeks at a time. I know that God is doing great things in my life here and is going to use me big time.  I can feel everyone's prayers and the moments I get down something always happens to pick me back up again.  I can't wait til the day that this becomes somewhat normal and maybe call this home rather than a home away from home.  I miss everyone of you and I can't wait to get home to visit.  LOVE YOU GUYS!!

Blessings.

Its all about perspective

Perspective:  the capacity to view things in their true relations or relative importance

So how does this definition apply to life and faith? Well friends-let me tell you. I was sitting in church yesterday and while I should have been worshiping the King of Kings and being amazed that God would bless us with His presence, I was selfishly thinking about how homesick I was, how tired I was, how much I wanted to drive Lorenzo (my car) and hang out with my friends, and how I looked in my super cute outfit (stupid girl thought).  It was then that I looked up and while singing "How Great Is Our God" I saw Johnny, a man who struggles to stand up, walk, and even talk, raising his deformed hands in worship with his eyes closed so tightly as if he was seeing the very God that we desire to know more and singing at the top of his lungs in celebration that God is great.  At that very moment I realized that my perspective was off.  My capacity to see things to their relative importance was extremely small.  Here I was, complaining about all the minuet items in my head and Johnny was solely focused on how great God is, regardless of life's circumstances.  


There are more important things in life to think about rather than focusing on that crap. Now, don't get me wrong. I believe that those thoughts have a time and a place; however, during worship was not the proper time.  So maybe a side note to perspective (when it comes to faith) is this: That there is a time and a place for all things (Ecclesiastes 3:1) and that we need to make sure that our perspective is correct to not mix up the important things in life.

Love is all you need

Good morning!! So today I was reading in 1John chapter 4. I love 1 John 4 because its all about love and more so, its about God's love to us and for us. Verse 16 says this: "We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love. God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them" Verse 17 continues on to say "And as we live in God, our love grows more perfect....."   I asked myself today "Do I live in love? Does every being of me love people? Do I act as though I love people.. truly? Because if I don't, then does God live in me?"  Ultimately our goal as Christians should be to grow, to not be stagnant or constant. If we live God, which is living in love (according to verse 16) then our love will GROW more perfect which means that we are growing toward perfection.
   I have a dear friend who tattooed the word "LOVE" on her side to remind her that love fixes so many problems and that if people just loved more, the world would be a better place. I believe that she is 100% right and she has a desire to live in love. She is one of the most forgiving and loving people I have ever met. Regardless of the way people have treated her, she still loves them. I love that about her and strive to be like that.
   I urge you today to go and live in love so that you may live in God and He in you!

Blessings!!

Grace and living in who we are

So this Sunday I attended church at Kings Highway Faith Fellowship which is this phenomenal church that is filled with the holy spirit and people who love the Lord as well as each other. I really feel like this could be my home church.  This particular Sunday there was a gentleman who had traveled all the way from Poland to speak. He was so amazing to listen to.  One of the things that stuck out to me, among the 3 1/2 pages of notes that I took, was the concept that "we touch lives by who we are, not who we were because we are altered and different."  and I went on to write in my journal this idea:  We touch lives by who we are, not who we were because we are altered and different. Yet, we shatter lives because of who were were, not who we are"  So what the heck does that mean? Let me give you an example. You've gotten into a heated conversation with a good friend over Lord knows what and you have the opportunity to tear this person apart with a few choice words. The person you were before you knew Christ would go off on them and give them more than just those few choice words. Living in who you WERE shatters that person's life.  However; living in who you ARE means holding your tongue and choosing to act in love rather than pride. 
       Now you may be saying to yourself  "Yeah yeah Isha. That sounds lovely and like a great idea, but how exactly am I supposed to go about doing that? You don't know the people I deal with or how easily annoyed I get"  And to that I would answer "#1) You obviously don't know me too well AND...#2) God's grace is how you'll do that"  In 1 Corinthians 12 :8 & 9 Paul pleads with God three times to take away the thorn in his side. Are you kidding me? Three times??!!  Um.. hello Paul? Did you not get the idea that God wasn't going to take it away from you after pleading 2 times?  Obviously not!  So God replies to him "My grace is sufficient for you, my power is made perfect in your weakness"   It is through God's grace that we do all things. God has already given you the grace to get through the crap that life dishes out. And guess what? That grace is more than enough... it's SUFFICIENT! One of the synonyms for sufficient is free. Isn't that so cool. God's grace is free! Like, you'll always have enough because it's free. You didn't have to pay for it or earn it. You didn't have to work for it, slave away your days for it. It's FREE...SUFFICIENT! (Ephesians 2:8-10. Which even states that grace was given to us so that we may do good works, which were prepared for us in advance- SOO COOL!!) 

So tonight I leave you with the thought that God's grace was given to us so that we may live as who we ARE not who we WERE!

Good night and Blessings!

Temporary Home

Today I had the kids by myself along with the help of the lovely 75 Irish grandmother (who is hilarious and reminds me of Robin Williams impersonation of an old scottish lady) I dropped the spunky 2 yr old off at daycare and after feeding the baby, putting him to bed I was able to drive to Target (a 15 minute drive away!). As I was driving I looked around at the picturesque setting of houses amidst a forest of trees with the ocean breeze coming in from a few miles away. I saw the sun beaming through the trees and it hit me...."This is my new home" 
Of course, Vegas will always be my first home and there is not other place like it, but Atlantic Highlands is now my new home.  However; it hit me that it's like life in general. Earth, is not our first home but it is our current home. We are to make the best of it and work hard at everything we do, even if it tires us out and makes us hold our tongue when all we want to do is yell. We are to be a part of this world, but never forget where we come from.

For the next 6 months to a year I am going to practice this til I know I'm a professional: Working hard, being patient, and smiling through all the moments I want to cry.

Blessings!

A Junglerific Day

My first full day was quite busy and exciting! I started it off by completing a not so full night's rest. I even had a very vivid dream that the little girl came into my room to wake me up and when I arose to her waking me up, she ran away screaming. When I finally woke up at 8:00am I had to question if that truly happened or not. I got dressed, but some make up on (I don't know how often I'll be doing that in the next few months to follow so I figured I should do it as much as possible now) and went upstairs to greet the family. The young girl was not awake so I spent some time with the mom and the precious baby. After eating a delicious bowl of cheerios I went upstairs to wake up the spunky 2 year old. She responded by saying "No" and went back to sleep and with that I decided that we have more in common than I had previously assumed.  Once everyone in the house was awake we headed out for the days activities that included a trip to the dollar store to get some awesome art supplies. We then headed to an awesome place called Junglerific which is a huge jungle gym and arcade geared toward small children. There are small toddler and baby toys around, as well as bouncy toys for the smaller children. It was awesome and I totally enjoyed playing with my new companion who constantly said "Again Eeesha! Again!" 

We left Junglerific and headed home as it was nap time. After nap time was lunch and lunch was followed by a surprisingly easy departure as mom left for a doctor's appointment and to run a few errands. This was it... the test run to see how the next 6 months would go. There was the typical testing of limits and normal 2 yr old meltdowns, but nothing was too hard to handle and no blood was shed (just a few tears). I am confident that the days that follow will be hard, but hopefully no bloodshed or broken bones will be experienced.  I am SOO  grateful that God got me through this day and we'll see how tomorrow goes. 

Blessings....

Coffee, Families, and Flights

Amidst the sound of Italian music playing at the starbucks, the sound of a woman taping her credit card as she waits impatiently on her diet soda, a family of 5 rearranging seats to crowd around a table that barely seats 2, is the sound of my heart beating faster than it has in a long while. I'm about 30 minutes away from boarding a plane to Newark, New Jersey. I've always wanted to leave Vegas, but now the opportunity has come and its so surreal that this could be happening to me. I'm encapsulated by a sea of emotions. Fear, excitement, sadness, happiness, anxiousness, anticipation of what's to come, dreading the cold that will overtake my life for the next few months, joy for the new adventure that awaits me.  Last night, as I laid awake in bed I thought "Lord, this is crazy. I mean, not crazy bad or crazy like You don't know what You're doing, but a crazy that seems near impossible and without you it wouldn't be possible" 

A year ago I prayed "Lord, make me uncomfortable". For those of you that have yet to pray this prayer....don't! Not unless you're prepared to be thrown into a crazy whirlwind of emotions, changes, and challenges. It's like the prayer "Lord, give me patience" You know you need it, but once you get what you asked for you no longer want it. Since then I have been living out of suitcases, never at home for more than a few days at a time, lost friends, gained new ones, changed jobs more times than I can count and now I'm moving almost 3,000 miles away from everything that makes me comfortable!  

I'm excited for this new chapter where I get to be away from anything that is familiar to me. I know that God does the biggest things when He has you by yourself because you're not so easily distracted from what He's trying to tell you. I'm ready for a more intimate relationship with the Lord and to know more of where He's taking me. I am so grateful for all that He's doing in my life and can't wait to see what's next.  

I hope that you guys will join me on this new adventure where I'm totally uncomfortable and open to whatever God has for me.

I am so thankful for all the prayers, letters, encouraging words, and all the love that has been shown to me!! You guys are my family and I love you!!!