I'm not finished with you yet....

I'm not finished with you yet.... These words resound in my head. I heard a testimony on Sunday where a guy kept hearing God say those words to him, even when the man was finished with himself.  I so dearly love those words because their often heard in the midst of hard times.  Recently I've been struggling with the thoughts that perhaps I'm not doing enough or being enough. Is Jersey really where I'm supposed to be and if so, for how long? I've made some poor choices and I'm probably harder on myself than anyone else (typical) so do those choices effect God's plan for me here. How gracious and loving is He?

About a week ago, I broke down crying in my room. I cried out " Lord, I'm lost and have no clue. Its been forever since I've been at this place and I don't like it:" His response?? " I'm not finished with you yet Isha. I love you and I know where you are. You've been in my hands the whole time"

Question is? Is God ever finished with us? Does He ever give up hope for us? I look at families around me who have children that have strayed away and they never lose hope or stop praying for their kids. Whether their kids change or not, they keep faith. I believe that God is the same way, never giving up. Jesus is up there, praying and interceding on our behalf. He is never done loving us or believing in us.
'
Some people may believe that death is when God says "now I am finished" But I believe quite the opposite. Sometimes He uses death to bring about the fruit of the harvest. I look at my friend Kyler who, even in death, is impacting lives and through his family, is bringing about change.

So if you've ever felt like God has given up on you or that you're not worthy of anything, I urge you to reconsider your thought process. You are loved and even in the depths of your despair God is saying, "I'm not finished yet."

Its Not About You

"Its not about you" I have heard this phrase more times than I can count. I have said this phrase more times than I can count. I've been on mission trips since I was 17 years old and each time we go that saying is drilled into our heads. The trips are really never about us: they're about reaching out to other people, about putting aside your desires, your comfort levels, your wishes, your attitudes and putting on patience, kindness, grace, mercy, love and anything else that shows God's love to everyone around you. I know what this saying looks like on the mission field and on church trips, but what does it look like in real life? What does it look like on the day-to-day?  We're told that life is a mission trip, but how many of us really live like that? When we wake up do we tell ourselves "Today, its not about me! Today, I'm going to put aside my feelings and my emotions for the better of others! Today I'm going to make every effort to love others around me more than I love myself!"  If you're anything like me, the answer is a hard "No!"  I wake up and think "Today, I'm going to do this or that. Today I'm going to go here or there. Today I'm going to wear this outfit and do my hair this way"  Rarely, do I take the time to truly think about anything or anyone other than  myself and how I feel.  


Today, I learned what it really means to live in the constant thought of "It's not about you"  I was standing in church today with 3 of my dear friends. The gentleman who was speaking offered a chance for people to either re-commit their lives or commit for the first time. Growing up in the church, you don't think so much about that offer because really, you hear it so much.  But as I looked up, I saw my friend (who has been struggling with her faith) walk to the front. I couldn't help but begin crying. My heart was so full of joy that she wanted to re-commit her life to the Lord. Just yesterday she was telling me how she knows that God sent me into her life and that she is forever grateful for me. In that moment I realized, that my time here in Jersey is not about me or my comfort level, its not about how much money I make, or the job title I possess, its not about what car I drive, what clothes I wear, or what I do on my weekends. It is about furthering the Kingdom and making a positive impact on the lives of those around me.  Normally I end my blog with a challenge for the readers, but this time I'm going to end with a challenge for everyone, including myself.


The challenge is this: To wake up every day and tell yourself  "Today, is NOT about me. It is not about my comforts or my emotions, but rather today IS about loving others and leaving a lasting, positive influence on the lives of those around me. Today, I will put aside everything that makes me selfish and prideful. I will take on the heart of a God who loves people without reason. Today, I am going to make an honest effort to be better than yesterday"


Blessings!